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Title: Dear Penthouse...
Fandom: Due South
Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski/Vecchio
Rating: R
Word count: 515
Warnings: threesomes, handcuffs, dorkiness
Summary: Fraser made a rash wager with Ray I.
Notes: Written for the Genre 2007 challenge at ds_flashfiction. I'm not s'posed to crosspost, is my impression, hence the link. I've never actually read a letter to Penthouse, so I hope I didn't miss something important about the format. I tried going to penthouseletters.com but they wanted me to register before actually letting me read anything! Also I'm not sure I used the subjunctive correctly.
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, and I'm not making any money off this.

Dear Penthouse...

###

DVD Extra: basic foodstuffs!

So there was a lot of speculation about exactly what article of Fraser's uniform Ray II had a thing for. But only Matti asked the really important question: what basic foodstuffs does Ray I find new and stimulating uses for? Our conversation (imagine irrelevant remarks about pastry and the hotness of Kowalski everywhere there are ellipses):

matti: so, which foodstuffs were you thinking?
[...]
me: i wasn't
me: i left it to your imagination
me: that's the beauty of doing that, see. i don't actually have to know.
me: tiramisu, maybe
me: that cream you put in cannolis
matti: yes you do
matti: the imagination of the reader fails
me: i can totally see ray breaking out the pastry bag in bed
matti: hahahaha
matti: you just thought of the simultaneously gayest and most italian food you could
me: fraser: "does your mother know you borrowed her pastry bag?"
me: rayv: "what she doesn't know won't hurt her, so don't even think about being all canadian and mentioning it!"
me: fraser: "well, but it's ripped in the corner, ray. perhaps we should repair it before----oh god, do that again!"
[...]
matti: dude
[...]
matti: you can't take your mom's pastry bag and just... give it back
[...]
me: yeah, i mean, when fraser thinks it over he'll insist on buying her a new one
me: and he'll make rayv pay
matti: if my closeted gay son ever borrows my pastry bag, he is damn well keeping it
matti: i'll give him 10 for xmas
me: bc he'll only be carrying canadian at the time
matti: okay, good
matti: just had to clear that up