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Title: Untitled
Fandom: due South
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio, Kowalski/Frannie
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,190
Summary: It's Christmas at the Vecchios'.
Notes: commentfic for mrs_laugh_track.
Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine and I am making no money off this.

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"Frannie, what are you doing in there, painting the Sistine Chapel? I need to take a shower!" This shout was followed by door banging that reverberated throughout the house.

Ray and Fraser, sitting at the kitchen table, looked at each other and sighed.

"She does take weirdly long showers," Ray said. "Vecchio's a style pig, but at least he's not a girl." He'd gotten up an hour ago to make sure he'd have time to shower and drink some coffee before the famous Vecchio Christmas shower championships started. Interacting with in-laws before coffee was a big mistake. Ray'd learned that a long time ago.

He didn't even get why they had to sleep here the night before, they lived like ten minutes away. But Frannie said Ma Vecchio liked her kids to wake up at home on Christmas morning, like they were little again. Ha. Wouldn't be like they were little again without a lot more shouting and smashing. He didn't say anything to Fraser, though, because the one time he brought up Pop Vecchio with the guy, he'd been kinda scared by the look on Fraser's face. Like maybe it was a good thing the guy was safely car accidented.

Fraser tilted his head, stirring his bark tea until the smell made Ray grimace. "I've often wondered what, precisely, Ray finds to do in the bathroom for so long in the mornings. But it leaves him with extremely soft skin, so—"

Ray flinched. "Augh, Frase, too much information!"

Fraser gave Ray a wide-eyed look. "Oh, no, Ray, too much information would be—"

Ray covered his ears. "Ha ha, Fraser, LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU."

"Ray!" Fraser said with real horror. "Shhh! You'll wake the children!"

Ray couldn't help it. He laughed. "This isn't really your gig, is it, Fraser? Tell Vecchio you want to go up North for Christmas next year. He'll do it."

Fraser gave Ray a look like he'd just suggested giving perps cigarette burns in interrogation. That I know you don't mean that, Ray look. "I enjoy being part of Ray's family. Although," he added ruefully, "I can't deny I'm savoring the calm before the storm."

Ray figured that was true—Fraser seemed to adore all of the little Vecchios especially, and even though he didn't say much (which for Fraser was really weird) at family gatherings, he never seemed impatient or freaked out. Still, Ray gave him a skeptical look on principle.

A smile tugged at Fraser's mouth. "Besides, I don't think going North with Ray in December would be a wise decision."

Ray snickered. Not totally fair since he'd almost gotten hypothermia himself about ten times up there, but hey, he was the immature one. He didn't have to be fair. "Yeah, Vecchio's more an indoor cat, isn't he?"

Fraser chuckled. "At least he dresses appropriately for the Chicago cold, Ray."

"Fraser, if I wear a hat it flattens my hair," Ray explained patiently for the four millionth time. "Vecchio has no hair."

Fraser's eyes glinted. "Actually, Ray—"

"Oh, God, Fraser, I do not want to hear about Vecchio's hairy ass!" Ray covered his ears again. "Anyway, I'm not as bad as Frannie. Sometimes I think she's going to get hypothermia just walking from the door to the car. I've tried to explain that if it's cold enough for a sweater you probably need to protect your midriff from frostbite but she does not seem to get it."

"Possibly she's noticed your fondness for that sweater," Fraser suggested innocently.

Ray grinned. "It is a hot little number. And, you know, I can keep her warm in a pinch."

Fraser twitched a little. "Ray..."

"Oh, like the whole world doesn't know about your obsession with Vecchio's driving gloves," Ray scoffed.

Fraser actually blushed. "Do they really?" he asked anxiously.

Ray slouched in his chair, hiding a smile. "Nah. Probably not unless they been on stakeout with you. But man, the two of you. I haven't felt like that much of a third wheel since—since never." He'd never been a third wheel until Fraser and Vecchio. He'd always had Stella, or it had been him and Fraser, single guys together.

Fraser sat up straight, frowning slightly. "I'm sorry, Ray," he said. "I hadn't realized we were making you uncomfortable."

"Hey, Fraser, relax, it's fine," Ray said. "I don't mind. Although that time I found you blowing Vecchio in the back seat of the Goat was a bit much."

"Well, I'm sorry, Ray," Fraser said, a smile spreading over his face. "But one of us had to continue to watch the warehouse. Besides, we had no way of knowing you would be returning so soon. On average, your—er—goodnight phonecalls to Francesca have a duration of seventeen minutes and thirty-two seconds."

Ray grinned. "Yeah, well, that night I made her—" He broke off, coughed. "We got done talking fast." Hey, if he was gonna be stuck on stakeouts all the time away from Frannie, it was only fair that they have a little fun time over the phone. It wasn't like Fraser and Vecchio weren't perfectly capable of staking out a warehouse by themselves for seventeen minutes and thirty-two seconds.

Fraser actually grinned back. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Good morning," Frannie said from the doorway. And this was Ray's favorite thing about Christmas. It was the only time of year Frannie ever wore red. She'd given him some long explanation why she didn't wear it every single day of the year that seemed to boil down to it made her look Italian. It made her look hot, is what it did. She was wearing this clingy wool dress with white feathery stuff at the neck, and Ray was pretty sure it ought to be illegal to wear something that sexy at a family party. Especially when combined with sorta sparkly makeup and every piece of gold jewelry ever given to her by a Vecchio so as not to spark a family feud.

"Morning, Frannie," Ray said. "I just wanna warn you, you're standing under some mistletoe. Could give a guy ideas."

Frannie looked down and smiled and blushed and that look of quiet happiness was never not gonna be the best thing that ever happened to Ray. "Merry Christmas, Fraser," she said.

For a second everything sucked, he knew it was stupid but come on, Frannie'd never really been the experimental hair type, right?

"Merry Christmas, Francesca," Fraser said warily.

"You wanna go see about making sure your boyfriend doesn't use up all the hot water?" she said pointedly, and everything was okay again. Everything was greatness. That dress was gonna be freakishly soft under his hands.

"With pleasure, Francesca," Fraser said, edging past her with an affectionate smile and at least six inches of breathing space. Obviously Ray wasn't the only one who was still a little traumatized.

But Frannie didn't even look at him. She licked her lips and said to Ray, "Aren't you going to kiss me?"

"Fuck yeah," Ray said. "Try not to get too much sparkly stuff on me, okay?"